Christopher Smith

by The Bathtub Project

Christopher Smith - May 9, 2016

 

Date of Interview: May 9, 2016

Name: Christopher Smith

Age: 27

Pronouns: He/Him/His

Location: Washington, DC

 

What made you interested in being part of this project?

I’ve known you (interviewer) for a little bit know and you know, you’re passionate about art and I really love to be a part of people’s passions. It seems like a really cool, new idea and I never thought that anyone would do an interview in a bath tub, where you’re so vulnerable. And here we are, both vulnerable and clearly, vulnerable in the bathtub and you know, I’m prepared to answer the questions you got. You know, it’s a very new spot out of my comfort zone, but it feels good nevertheless.

Do you try to push yourself out of your comfort zone often?

Nowadays, yes I do. Because remaining in your comfort zone, you’re never going to get anywhere. You’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. You know, how are you going to experience new things? You know, see new places, you know. I’m not still in Plainsfield, New Jersey and I don’t want to stay in Washington, D.C. for the rest of my life.

Are you afraid of death?

No, I am not. In no way am I afraid of death. You know, it’s a part of life. If you fear it, you’ll waste the precious time you have alive, fearing death. I’m not afraid of death because it’s going to happen, one way of the other. You know there’s a good ol’ parable that I’ll try to quickly summarize, of this man who tries to run away from death. He wouldn’t drive his car, he wouldn’t go outside, he wouldn’t do anything outside of his house that could kill him, but it had been told to him that death was coming for him that day. So he locked himself in his house, closed the windows and said, “you know, I’m going to sit in this house so death can’t come for me.” And his roof caves in. So why are you going to be afraid of it if you know it’s going to come for you anyways?

What are you most afraid of for yourself?

What I am most afraid of for myself is wasting time because… I’m not afraid of wasting money or possessions like that because at the end of the day all we have is time. You think about it right, they put people in jail, ’cause the only thing you truly have is time. That’s the only thing that can be taken from you or given away, that you can’t get back. And that ties into my relationship views too, because when you put time into somebody, you are putting your life into them. As I said, I don’t fear death, but I fear wasting my life. Because when death comes, it’s permanent, but your time here truly is limited, and I want to spend it doing the right thing with the right people. You know, for the right reasons of course, you know, and I fear losing time because its outright irreversible. I actually fear wasting time more than death.

What are you most afraid of for the world?

Donald Trump. ::both laugh:: Truly what I am afraid of for the world is the lack of unity and brotherhood that we have on this world, because there are only X amount of people and in multiple creation stories, multiple religions, whatever you may or may not believe, the fact of the matter is that we are all human being, we all share that one basic thing in common. Why would we hate each other because of the color of our skin? Why are we going to hate each other because of religion? Maybe if we could purge away all that bullshit, and differences and just be happy about it, we could build a world, and I know I sound idealistic, and it is very idealistic, but I would love to believe John Locke that we as humans know love and are taught war. That we are taught hate, you know, you see a little kid and they’re flipping somebody off, you look at the parent and they are also flipping somebody off. The kid learned that. You know, if you take a KKK born baby and you raise that child with a different family that doesn’t hold those views, that child is going to have the views of the family that raised it. You know, I have yet to see a Ku Klux Klan baby that is raised in the KKK, go to a new family that isn’t KKK and all of a sudden, what is it, doing all the shit that they do, it wouldn’t make sense. This is man taught stuff, and I’m a strong believer in what a man can make, a man can break.

Who loves you?

Who loves me… to death ::slight scoffing laughter:: May real loves, are truly my family, but not just my family that is alive, but my family that has passed away. My grandmother Mama who I was born on her birthday, January 12th, and my uncle Gary, who you know was taken from us when I was 13. They had such loving hearts and were such loving and caring people that I think of them because I feel their love is eternal. and sometimes I believe and have to believe I hear their voices from the grace. more often when I was in bad spots or in a compromised situation, or anything like that I feel as if I had heard my grandmother, my Mam talkin’ to me. And almost guide me in a way, you know. People might say I’m crazy for that, but you know, I think our loved ones are out there looking out for us. To hit on another parable that I can quickly sum up that says our loved ones are the stars in the sky at night. Which, partially, is why I wanted to be an astronaut as a child. Go figure.

Who do you love?

Obviously family, relationship love, you know Greeks have so many different words for love, you know?¬†Looking at this as I want, uhh of course as I said, I love my family to death, for what it’s worth we are a really close knit family we like to get on each other a lot, you know, coming off Mothers Day ::laughter:: we like to get on each other a lot. I haven’t had any really romantic loves in some time, I’ve been taking a break from them.I’m in a spot of life where I’m finding myself, because at times I don’t feel as if I love myself. That’s why it didn’t, you know, ding to the top of my head, saying I love myself, because you know, I’m still working on that. and before I can love or be in a relationship and a loving relationship with someone else, I gotta love myself. and I’ve really gotta find that inner peace and inner serenity before I can share that with someone else.

Do you fully believe in the saying “You must love yourself before you can love another?”

Absolutely. That’s one of the truest sayings, I feel. Before you can truly, unconditionally love someone because, especially in this country right now, there’s a whole lot of love going on. There’s a whole lot of love. Think how long Kim Kardashian was married to Chris Humpfreys – a few hours? You know, it’s a good example because marriage is supposed to be an act of love. It’s supposed to be something you do with somebody, mainly who you love, and I feel as in this day and age, that love has become cheapened. You now, I don’t want to walk down the aisle with some girl I’ve just been hooking up with for a little bit, you know? I wouldn’t even want to walk down the aisle if a girl who had my child was the one willing. I want there to be love. I want to know that if I turn to the right, this person is right next to me. If I look behind me, she’s back there too, and I want her to know that too. As in, no matter what, through think and thin, sickness and health, happiness and sorrow, all those things. I want that. It means something, you know? I’ve had my run around the block, hooking up, sleeping around and all that, you know what people may call a crazy life or whatever, and it got me nowhere.

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