by The Bathtub Project
Date of Interview: May 13, 2016
Name: Sophie McTear
Location: Washington, DC
What did you want to be as a kid?
Okay, this is really funny, but when I was a kid I told my dad that I wanted to be Darth Vader. Uhh, then I chose that I wanted to be an astronaut. And then for a while when i was a little bit older I wanted to be a fashion designer. For like, a long time. I had dreams of going to FIT in New York City and I watched A LOT of Project Runway. Uhh-ummm, yeah I think that’s about it.
How often do you shower or bathe?
I bathe more often than I shower, probably. Mainly since I work at Lush and bath bombs are a real thing. Every couple days usually. Maybe every other day? Yeah.
What are you passionate about?
Umm… Yeah, I mean I am pretty passionate about my job at Lush. I mean I love the ethics behind the company. But, as far as what I’m super passionate about… My art. Umm, I’ve been pretty bad lately because I haven’t been super passionate about, like, causes. I feel like I used to be a lot more when I was younger, but I think it’s that I haven’t had the time to devote myself to causes. I’m really passionate about music. Music and art are probably my biggest passions. Go figure.
Since creating work is one of your big passions, are there any projects that you’re really excited about currently?
Umm, let me think. Yeah, I mean, I did the 9:30 Club poster which was pretty cool. I got to go to the event for that at the Lincoln Theater and the executive producer shouted out my name in front of a full audience which was super awesome. umm, yeah I did a poster the other day for this band, Brnda, for a show at Comic Ping Pong and it’s actually of this photo of me when I was in Richmond last year, of me trying on pigeon head masks. And I used that picture for this template and drew on top of myself and made it a poster. Which is pretty cool. A water color pigeon head, it’s awesome. ::both laugh::
So the opposite of what you’re most passionate about. What are you most afraid of for yourself?
Oof. I’m afraid of a lot of things man. You know, I’ve always been afraid of financial stability. I think, like, financial instability I should say. I think that that’s a huge trigger for my anxiety. I think that growing up, that’s always been the biggest sense of turmoil for my family, and I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me because of money and it always is nerve wracking for when my bank account is really low and the fear of not being able to make it… I always do, but yeah, I guess the think I’m most afraid of is not being successful, financially wise. I think I know I’m going to do well, but it’s always hard to like, feel like you’re doing well and being rewarded fiscally for it. It’s kind of shitty that that’s what it comes down to, but to be secure and safe, you need it. So it’s always been a balance of working and doing my art and things like that.
An offshoot of the prior question, what are you most afraid of for the world?
Oh god man, Donald Trump. Umm, i mean yeah, i guess intolerance. And you know, sometimes I feel like we’re coming up and getting better as a society. You know there’s things we’re improving upon, but there’s so much more that we have to do. Look at the bathroom bill that’s happening and everyone is saying, “Oh, gay marriage is legal, so everything is fine. We no longer have to fight for LGBTQ rights.” Like, I have to fucking fight for my right to use my preferred gender pronouns. I’m also pretty scared about global warming. For me that’s less tangible, I understand it less I think, but through working for Lush I have more of a grasp on what the implications are with what we’ve been doing to the earth.
Who do you love?
Whoooo do I love…? I deeply and profoundly love my friends. I think that’s like, I had to learn a lot of ways that I’ve had to build my own family. Um, and I surround myself with people who make the most of my life and make me happy and keep me positive. My close friends, my roommate, my brothers. I also care about my brothers a whole lot. They are some of the most important people to me. They are actually who I thought of first. I have two brothers, and they are amazing and I love them very much. Yeah, I think that’s the most important.
Who loves you?
I would hope the same people that I listed ::laughs:: I also think my coworkers care for me a lot. It was really unique for me to find a place that was so caring and understanding of the things I’m going through. I’ve had a lot of jobs where I was either sexually harassed, or… things just weren’t understood, and I had to suck it up and put a smile on my face. Which is a life lesson, I guess. In some aspects, i guess. But I love working in a place where I feel safe and cared for, and respected. And my coworkers are really trying hard, every single day, to improve themselves, and like, I am too. I am looking to understand them and better understand myself, in the ways that we think and the ways that we work which is pretty cool. I also know that my family loves me, and my friends.
What do you think of death?
ohhh-hoooo, loaded question. I don’t like to think about it very much. Yeah, I mean I get really scared at the idea that things are finite and get really afraid that, kinda tying back to what we were talking about before, that what I’m going to do on this earth won’t matter and I’ll be forgotten or something like that. I know it won’t matter, I’ll be dead… Like nihilism and stuff like that. i don’t know. Nihilism always scared the shit out of me. Whenever anyone would say, “It doesn’t matter, we all die anyways.” I would say, “FUCK THAT, uncool.” That just gives me even more reason to do something, you know what I mean? We only have so much time. I guess that’s… ::soft chuckle:: I’m scared of death. I don’t like that idea. I haven’t had that many people who are close to me die, only a couple of people who really matter. The rest of the ones that died didn’t really matter. Nooo, just kidding. Uhh, my grandfather who I was very close to passed away about four or five years ago. I was really close with him, and ended up getting a tattoo for him and everything. Which, he is really the only person that I’ve gotten a tattoo for. I’ve gotten tattoos with people, but that was really a memorial piece for me. I had a couple friends from high school who have passed away. One overdosed on heroin, which was really scary and kind of like… a wake up call, I guess. In the way it can happen to anyone. It’s hard to think about, but it’s one of those things.
What are your thoughts on sex?
Sex. I love it. yeah, i like sex. Sex is great. Sex is great if you have it with someone who is supportive and very attracted to and compatible with. And I think that’s something that I’ve learned recently, is that you’re not always sexually compatible with everyone. I’ve had the worst experiences with that shit ::laughing:: it wasn’t that it was bad, like the sex wasn’t great but this guy was super transphobic. He kept calling me “she” and “her” and “lady” and I told him, “this is something that I’ve talked to you about and I don’t like being called that, and I don’t appreciate that.” He said, “Well we just fucked, and you have a vagina, so fuck you. You’re a girl.” It felt so unreal. So yeah, the moral of the story is don’t let strangers into your apartment. I guess what I’ve had to learn is that you’re not always going to be compatible with everyone, and you should be sure to take care of yourself. You’re doing things that make you happy. Things that make you happy sexually. Things that make you feel good because you feeling good is what matters.