Nenet

by The Bathtub Project

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Date of Interview: May 31, 2016

Name: Nenet

Age: 29

Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

Location: Washington, DC

 

Do you have any opinions on how women and femme people are portrayed and treated by the media and by humans in general?

Well I think that with women, it’s aimed at women have to always please. And be willing. And that is very intense and aggressive. I don’t roll with that. I think it’s very hard to have to do that all the time and it’s very invasive and very unfair. The media is pretty sick and a little to much is twisted and I think its not good, it creates a lot of strain and pressure for young people. I think it should be regulated; it’s a little criminal to expose people to that.

Do you think where you grew up impacts these opinions and their growth?

YES. Yes, I grew up in Argentina and it’s a very macho oriented culture where there is only one type of women and that’s where you should fit in. If you have short hair, you’re just weird. If you’re different, you’re just weird. If you’re whatever, you’re just weird. And they will let you know that you’re out of line. I remember walking into places from my teen years to early 20s and you were REALLY supposed to look one way. And it was really scary, I really couldn’t fit. Everyone wore one brand of jeans, one length of hair, one disposition. You really had to tone yourself down and just be giggly and willing and coordinated, and everyone had to look the same. That’s my memory of that.

When did you move to the US?

I moved to the US three years ago. I had a boyfriend and I followed him…

That kind of leads into my next question… what are your thoughts on
relationship dynamics, especially when coming from different cultures?

Well… I’ve thought a lot about that, since I’m here and since I was in a long relationship with someone who was American, and white and cis and male. I think, and I actually wrote about this today, that’s how current this topic is for me, you are desirable when you can be looked at and lust upon. You’re a curiosity and it kind of doesn’t matter where you’re from as long as you’re foreign and seemingly exotic. And so now it’s really hard to filter people because they ask questions about your country and immediately seem really interested if you’re foreign. Especially Latinas. Latinas are kind of displayed in a certain way. So I have a lot of people, actually men. I have a lot of MEN asking me how sassy I was, or if I would like, if you PARTY and I also felt like that’s really weird and they’re really weird and they were kind of already objectifying me already. So yeah, I was really not into it. I think if you grow up in a place and spend a good 25 years in one country and move, you’re thinking that it’s going to be different and it’s OH WOW because it’s not. I thought that if people or anyone would be interested in dating someone from another country or culture, they would be actually interested, not as a token. Like, “it’s my Argentine girlfriend and she’s so awesome and EXOTIC”. I really had full on encounters and conversations that didn’t really go beyond that. Like “Oh, she’s foreign, you know, got it”. There was no real interest in anything. No one cared about my passions and who I am.

What do you feel is your biggest accomplishment?

I wrote a play earlier this year. And I was satisfied with that. I think it allowed me to move forward towards being a more responsible creative person. Where I’m actually committed to the things I do and can follow through. There’s the start and the end, which is really cool.

What are you most afraid of for yourself?

I am afraid of… Something really silly. I am afraid of not showing up to work. Part of it is because I did it before. I just thought I can’t go on with this. It has nothing to do with who I am or what I want other than money and paying the rent. It’s a trivial thing, but it’s the first thing that came to mind. It’s real.

What are you most afraid of for the world?

Conservative, backwards people and how they are taking control. They are able to influence people all of a sudden and get to people. They get to people that are scared and this is really frightening that they get control of official things, like a whole political party. Especially here, but it’s happening in other parts of the world too, but more rapidly here.

What does your personal utopia look like?

I actually don’t think utopias exist. I don’t think they fully conform to humans as we are, we are not all inherently good, I can’t really believe that. So I don’t think a utopia is possible, there are to many of us, we are a little late on that. But I think a better distribution on wealth and resources and opportunities would achieve something for mankind. But it will never really be a utopia.

Is there anything you are hopeful for in the world?

Is there hope… Hmm.. There’s always hope for good things. People keep creating. And keep doing things here and there. There are random acts of kindness and it’s really important to remember that.

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