exploring vulnerability and transparency one bath at a time

Kalani Naihe

Kalani Naihe


Date of Interview: October 3, 2016

Name: Kalani Naihe

Age: 23

Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them

Location: Philadelphia, PA


If you were an underwater creature which one would you be?

Ohhhhh good question. I would probably be an orca. I really like whales, I think they’re really cool and interesting creatures and like, they just swim around and shit, it’s pretty cool.

What are you passionate about?

Very passionate about the DIY music scene, booking shows, being vegan and embracing my queerness. That’s something that is very new and very fun to become more passionate about. I never… I mean, it’s strange to me to talk about because I’m really new to this whole embracing my queerness thing. I’ve always been like, I’m definitely pansexual and I’ve always thought that my whole life. I’ve been very into loving people for who they are but recently come out to those that are close to me as non-binary when it comes to my gender so I started using they/them pronouns and I think that just making sure that my queerness doesn’t doesn’t get lost in relationships with those who are not. And I think that’s very important. In the past I’ve let people over step boundaries with that for me, like they kind of dictate my level of queerness especially if I’m dating a cis, straight male. So I’ve recently became very passionate about learning and accepting who I am instead of just letting someone else, just because they’re around a lot, dictate that I am this person that I know I am.

Do you feel like you have to carve out spaces that you exist in?

Always. Absolutely, especially because I book shows and being a queer promoter and trying so hard to be inclusive of everybody. It’s like having a third job a lot of the time. A lot of the time I feel overwhelmed by trying to make sure that my space in which I’m occupying is safe for those around me and for those who are also attending. It’s everything from entering into my home, to going to a show, it’s so important to be aware of. Lately I’ve been going through a lot, I moved back into this house after a year after some bad things happened and everyone just took me back in, but I feel better being around other people who are queer. They just sort of encompass my life. Having my friends, even having people in my life who aren’t queer, just making sure those people in my life are also accepting of who I am… All of my friends are and I feel so good and confident about it. But it’s important for me to dictate what is safe for me and those around me. Cuz people do look up to me when it comes to all of that stuff because of how loud I am and how I’m in charge of the spaces that people are in, especially for shows and stuff.

What do you think of relationships? Platonic, sexual or otherwise?

My platonic relationships are soooooooo important to me. I love all of my friends with my whole heart, and I always have, that’s just the way I’ve been my whole life. My platonic relationships, because they’ve always gone better than my romantic ones, have always meant more to me. That’s definitely one of the reasons why my romantic relationships have failed, because I have tried so hard to make sure that if I’m in a romantic relationship, my platonic ones will not be overlooked at all. They’re so important. I don’t know where I would be today if I hadn’t met my best friend five years ago. And if I have ever treated them terribly or completely disappeared on them or whatever because of getting into a relationship they wouldn’t be here today. So it’s definitely paid off, caring so much about platonic relationships. The people I surround myself with are like family to me because my family is over 500 miles away. I think it’s important for everyone to think of their friends like that. You get to choose them so you should put as much effort into them as anything else, they’re important.

What is something you’re afraid of for yourself?

The future. It’s very scary and uncertain. I think about it all the time and it terrifies me. I’m soooooo scared of it because every aspect of it is scary. Things that are going on politically are scary, it’s sooooo fucking terrifying and then jsut my everyday life, like what am I going to do in two years!? What am I gonna do in two months? Because everything has been so uncertain for me lately and I’ve been kind of just going with the flow, doing whatever. I don’t know. The future. The future is very scary and I’m terrified of it.

What do you wish you had known when you were 15?

I wish 15 year old me, I’m going to go into this crazy vegan thing because that’s who I am, I wish 15 year old vegetarian me, fence walking peanut butter eating piece of shit who REALLY didn’t do ANYTHING, it’s cool, like I was vegetarian so young and it took me so long to vegan. I wish someone would have told me “there’s something called vegan-ism, this is what you want to do” because my mindset was “I want to help animals BUT I’m still gonna eat dairy” ::laughs::. So I wish 15 year old me would have known what being vegan meant.


Lucas Fendlay

Lucas Fendlay


Date of Interview: October 3, 2016

Name: Lucas Fendlay

Age: 24

Pronouns: They/Them

Location: Philadelphia, PA


How often do you bathe or shower?

Soooo it’s fall right now, but in the winter it’s usually every two or three days, kind of as needed. In summer it’s once a day, sometimes two times a day if I sweat a lot. In the summer I sweat a lot and I hate feeling sweaty. I lift a lot of shit for work, I’m an audio engineer so it’s a lot of hanging speakers and stuff like that so I get sweaty and feel gross.

What are you passionate about?

Lots of stuff. Music and theater primarily, that’s what takes up a lot of my time. I do sound for a lot of plays and read a lot of plays in Philly and that’s some of my favorite things to do. A lot of music and theater, I sing and play in a band called Collect Yourself and that also occupies a lot of my time, being a part of that. I got a drum set when I was six and that was my instrument for a long time, playing percussion in high school jazz band and marching band and stuff. But I got a guitar when I was 12 and I started playing a lot of guitar through that and I sold my drum kit when I was in high school, but I think guitar became my biggest thing so now I mainly play drums and guitar.

Do you think where or how you grew up had an impact on the way you view music?

Where I grew up definitely, family not so much. My dad showed me a lot of the bands that I cared about when I was younger. His favorite band in the world is Pink Floyd and I was floored by them when I was younger, completely blown away. He also listens to a lot of blues and my mom listens to a lot of pop country and radio pop, stuff like that, but when I was growing up she was really into the Talking Heads which was kind of a first touch on punk music maybe…? I don’t know if the Talking Heads are punk but anyway, I think that being where I was growing up was a huge aspect of it. Baltimore has a huge pop punk scene, or did, and I was close enough to DC to get all the Dischord Records bands stuff. I started listening to Black Eyes a lot again and they were one of my favorite bands in 9th and 10th grade, so it’s really interesting seeing how that record aged. It didn’t age so well, but I really like that band. But yeah, I got exposed to a lot of bands growing up near Baltimore.

What do you feel is your biggest accomplishment?

I don’t know. Umm, I was really stoked that moving out of my mom’s house and moving here was successful. My sister just moved out of my mom’s house this year. She’s three years older than me and when I moved out her and my mom fought a lot. They adore each other, but they’re a mom and daughter that fight a lot. So I left and it was weird because I mediated shit a bit at home, so I left and wasn’t able to do that for them anymore but… everyone stayed and it having that was pretty successful. Also moving here to Philly and work with music and theater is really awesome. I wasn’t sure if it was going to work at all and having it work… I’m really happy to be where I’m at right now, it’s really nice.

Do you think that living in Philadelphia has impacted your accomplishments? Professional and otherwise?

Definitely. I couldn’t survive in or near Baltimore and do the work I do, there’s just not enough of a scene there. And in Philly, both in music and in theater scene, it’s one of the best on the east coast. In New York there’s obviously Broadway, but Broadway doesn’t have the types of shows I would be into a whole lot anyways, I do like a lot of American musicals but that’s not what I want to work in primarily. And Philly has a lot, there are 38 different theater companies here that all do dramatically different types of work. So there’s a lot of depth in the stuff I get to do here. If I would have stayed living with my parents, where I was in Maryland it’s an hour away from the city, I didn’t grow up in Baltimore, I just say Baltimore as a landmark, but Philly has everything to do with me being able to do this for a living


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