Sarah AKA Sur-ruh

by The Bathtub Project

Sarah AKA Sur-Ruh


Date of Interview: December 12, 2016

Name: Sarah AKA Sur-ruh

Age: 25

Pronouns: She/Her

Location: Washington, DC


How often do you bathe or shower?

I am not super good about that… it’s only for the purposes of getting scalp clean. I know my body is getting kinda sweaty but it’s the wintertime so I can cover it up pretty well ::laughs::.

If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?

I’ve considered this extensively! I didn’t show you my mermaid tail blanket, the hottest thing on earth right now but yeah, I would be a mermaid. I’m a swimmer, like, even though I’ve swum competitively I’m not great at the butterfly but doing the dolphin tail kick is fulfilling my dreams of having an adventure under the water and my imagination as a kid… I really spent a lot of time in the water. I started swimming competitively when I was around 8 or so. So it was a summer team and I didn’t really want to start doing it in the winter until high school so it was a little bit harder. Highly mediocre. I just find it natural to be in the water.

What are you passionate about?

I think something I’ve been trying to do a lot is seek out art and try to learn about and pick something or a couple things I think I can express the kind of art that I think really feels me. I’ve been bouncing around a lot. I started in photography and it’s still something that’s really important to me but when I was able to start messing around with different materials and rocks and collage I felt like there was something there and I had to keep going with that. Talking to you, I’ve talked to other artists on Instagram and I’m just trying to figure out how you guys do it and I want to adopt your policies or whatever ::laughs::. You clearly have drive and I would like to find that kind of drive. With photography, my attention is still there because I felt like I was so poor at it when I started, I wasn’t super critical of myself at the time, but I look back and think oh. You weren’t really making it. But at the time I had this feeling, I know I’m missing the point here. So I thought I had to get practice and practice is a real important thing. I also thought travel was more important, like, there’s nothing here. I realized it’s not about traveling! ::Laughs:: sure, you can travel and make beautiful photography doing that but I felt like I wasn’t giving enough of a chance to the area I was living in. At that time I was moving to college part to go to school and I just fell in love with alleyways. My boyfriend always laughs at me cuz I’m all “Wow! Look at that alley!”. Alley’s just get the coolest light. And they’re always so dirty. It’s great texture. So now I’m just looking for the right thing to make something different. I always want to make something different.

What are your thoughts on relationships? Platonic, sexual or otherwise.

That’s really interesting for me to talk about. Because I think about not only my romantic relationship, that… That’s always been a big part of my life, I’ve always been sort of dating somebody and I thought that was to keep me occupied a lot of the time. I felt like there wasn’t a lot going on. But I realized a little bit later that I can entertain myself. I can figure out what I think is worthwhile to pursue and I don’t have to follow around this person, saying “I like what you like too”. That’s just sort of about boyfriend things but I don’t have a lot of super close friends, I have maybe 5 or 6 who are ride or die ::laughs::. But they don’t live that close so I think I felt so spoiled in college and I didn’t realize it until now, that being able to see all of your best friends and your second best friends all in one night; that’s an amazing experience. So now I really really value.any time I have someone come over.

What is something you struggle with?

I feel like I’m struggling with a good number of things right now, but I am picking out a therapist person. I got a lot of pages of doctors I have to call and stuff because I don’t know which one I need. I don’t even know if they’re accepting people so it’s really daunting because there are so many names. But I’m really driven to do this ’cause I get sort of obsessive and I’ve never been diagnosed and I have no diagnosed issues and I do not intend to seek a diagnosis. I just want to seek treatment. I don’t really know what the true issue is but I just get obsessive. I need to work on it because it’s impacting my health and the health of people around me. It’s hard because it’s not a lot of physical manifestations of compulsion except that if I get fixated on a mistake I made at work or something; I’ll be unable to eat for that day. And then when that becomes more of a pattern, you know, in extraordinary circumstance, that makes me feel horrible. I feel kind of fortunate because I can deal with this one thing but awhile back I had a lot more trouble sleeping so I felt like a zombie all the time. That was a real feeling that I knew I was having, so now I feel blessed that I don’t feel like that but yeah, I have to focus on trying to get better.

What’s something you feel accomplished with?

I guess, it’s coming up with the new year in January, January was when I got my first full time job, the job I just referenced ::laughs::. I am so very thankful even though it can bring pain because I’m one of those people who wasn’t very good at applying for jobs and definitely wasn’t very good at getting them but I just dreamt and wished for that. I’ve been trying to remind myself that anytime I feel that it’s difficult or that I can’t deal with it, that I’ve had a successful, as in I haven’t gotten fired ::laughs::, 11 and a half months and I’ve learned a lot. I’m the type of person where if you put something on my plate to learn my response won’t be “no, I don’t want to learn that” but it will be “well, I guess this is what I’m doing now” ::laughs::. I guess it’s good to be surprised by that