by The Bathtub Project


Date of Interview: March 3, 2017

Name: MJ

Age: 29

Pronouns: Your Choice

Location: Baltimore, MD


How often do you bathe or shower?

Like, if it was a work day I definitely showered. If I’m sick I like to bathe.

If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?

A crab. I think that crabby is an endearing quality in some people ::laughs::.

What are you passionate about?

Well. This year somebody asked me earlier what my theme for the year was going to be, and I sort of decided it was going to be brutal honesty. It’s not just for myself, but it’s also for the people I engage with and the things I’m trying to do with my life. So, I guess that extends to career stuff and I fucking hate the term “career” but life, geographical places, just… Not buying into the expectations that are put on you generally by your place of life and career. What everyone is expecting of you, for what you should be doing.

How do you live that out?

Well… I’m in the middle of a lot of legal stuff right now. And it’s sort of felt very liberating for me that I feel a lot less engaged in the workplace and that’s okay, I’m making space for myself. Before all this happened, I thought that I would be on my way, moving out of Maryland right now. But I’m pretty stationary right now, for at least another year. I think becoming more open in the way I handle interpersonal relationships, I’ve also thought about with moving state, if it’s a realistic thing or long term, should I think about leaving the country because I don’t know if I could live in the United States to be an old person without being in jail again ::laughs::.

What led you to this point in life?

Umm. I think it’s a lot of timing of things. I can’t say I was necessary doing anything different. I remember, after the elections, some friends were talking about how we think this new era is going to be impacting us on a personal level. And I was serious when I said it, but I was kind of joking, “I think over the next few years we’re going to see a lot of our friends go to jail” ::laughs::. It turned out to be very real ::laughs::. Yeah. And having problems with renewing my work licence because the governing board will see my charging documents and stuff. I don’t even know how my… Like, if I’m going to be able to keep my career and thinking more about workplace agitation and what it means to be a productive member. Like. How I’m going to live going forward after this.

What do you feel accomplished with?

My first few years out of college, I worked my ass off and I saved up enough money that even though the future is frightening, I don’t feel an immediate sense of scare if I lose my job because I have this cushion of being able to figure things out. I want to be able to take care of the other people I was with so we can all be in an okay situation. I got out of a crazy relationship in 2014 and I definitely built up some coping mechanisms. And when you think of coping mechanisms, you think of unhealthy but it’s really been serving for myself. I’ve reached a point where, all of a sudden, I’m poly and it seems super natural to me. I thought I was gonna be an old spinster before ::laughs::. Now I’m realizing that the love I have for somebody, or that somebody has for you is not diminished by simultaneously loving another person. And I feel safer and I rely on dangerous things and self destructive behavior a lot less.

What do you think of relationships? Platonic, sexual and otherwise?

I have love for everybody that I’m involved with. We might not be actual relationships and stuff, but everyone that I’m involved with has a place in my heart. An endearing place. But I really love being independent and I really get off on that. I finally am wielding that. I’ve lived alone for a very long time and I am mostly alone all the time. But I definitely love intimacy. A lot. I guess I’m shy to talk about sex stuff ::laughs::. But yeah, it’s my favorite, I love it, it’s great. Everything’s great. ::laughs::.