by The Bathtub Project
Date of Interview: March 29, 2018
How often do you bathe or shower?
I used to, as a child, be made fun of for not bathing enough. And then I learned how to shower every day, and now I found a happy medium, which is every two or three days. I don’t take baths as often as I should for relaxation purposes.
If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?
Well, I thought about this a lot. I think I would be one of those merpeople that’s the dangerous kind, not a friendly like, “Come over here, sailors,” but kind of like the ones that eat people. I think that they have a right to. I’d feel like I were of the sea, I would probably want to keep it decolonized, and I probably would fight for it as my home and other ocean creatures that are under threat, obviously.
What are you passionate about?
I’m passionate about lots of things. Personal fashion. I really love getting to know people through the choices– the expressive choices they make. I care a lot about television. Oh, yeah. So I think it’s– I was basically raised by television. It feels like a very human object to me, and I feel like it’s a relational thing, watching TV. I love being a critical consumer of television, and I care a lot about activist work and poetry as well.
How do these passions manifest?
Usually in really strange ways. I don’t think that I’m one of those people who has it together enough to be like, “This is my particular activist identity, and you will only see me at these protests, and I will be the one who’s speaking to the cameras.” All of my passions, all of my radical, marginal, experimental, eclectic, chaos, all of that, it just kind of ends up coming out as I’ll make a series of toilet seat cover chapbooks or– I don’t know. I’ll make something weird, or I’ll do something weird, or I’ll take a trip to nowhere and make an installation there that no one will ever see, things like that. So not incredibly useful or productive.
How does it make you feel when you do those things?
It makes me feel like I’m more connected to the place that I live in. So I guess in that way, it is very productive if that is what we’re here to do. And it makes me feel more connected to other people often too.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
My biggest accomplishment is I think being a good person. I think that that is– that’s the success that I care about the most. I don’t know what other people would say about me. I genuinely have no idea, honestly . But that’s my greatest success, and I think that as long as I continue to feel that way about myself that would be my answer probably always.
What is something you still struggle with?
Well, I think boundaries, so I know we were just talking about that, but I think that– I think that it’s really hard for me still to know where my limitations are, what’s cool, what’s not cool out there in the world can sometimes seem just like this big noise, and so I think that I’m just learning how to set boundaries and remember where they are. I think that’s something I’ve always been learning, but it took me– I, apparently in this particular case am a really, really bad study, because it has taken me 30 years of my life to get I think close to where other people are when they’re, I don’t know, adolescents. I think that’s a part of– that’s a queerness thing, too. It’s like we’re all kind of stunted in really similar ways, and that’s okay. That’s part of it.
What are your thoughts on relationships? Platonic, sexual, familial, and otherwise?
My thoughts on relationships. Wow, there’s so many. All of my thoughts I save for relationships, actually. For my entire life I’ve been an extremely almost too relational person, I would say.This is something I just learned about, but my Libra south node says that – so the south node and north node are important things to know about astrology, apparently – but it basically is like, “I’ve been really good at relationality for a really long time and I have to learn more about thinking of myself as separate and individual.” But friendships are incredibly important to me. I do anything I can to maintain them. I’ve lived far away from people I’ve loved for a really long time. I care a lot about loving relationships and intimacies and I like to have them with lots of different people. So Poly is one of those things also. Just making unique kinds of– let the record show that my cat is now wearing a bathrobe [laughter]. Making relationship forms that maybe aren’t recognizable to people who are used to having more conventional kinds of relationships. I have a lot of very intimate friendships and it’s just a part of me.
Do you feel like your relationships and your queerness are completely intertwined?
Yeah. I think there’s really no other way for it to be. And then queerness is such an all-encompassing part of my identity. So many things are wrapped up– are bound up with queerness, including but not limited to my relationships, my creativity, all the things that I– all of my artistic access. All my psychological access to myself, that vault is a queer vault. And yeah, I think, not to evade the question here, but every single relationship I’ve ever had has been informed by queerness. Especially my earliest relationships in ways that are– I’m just learning about. And I think that those are things that a lot of us have to spend a really long time exhuming, because these things get buried.
What comes to mind when you think of your identity?
So boywitch is my gender/performance scene/lots of things. I think that that’s where I’ve landed, is a really simplified term and it just– I think it’s about my gender, and it’s also about my fascinations, and it’s about my investments as a more than just material being. And my alignment with playfulness and magic, those are the kinds of the things that are most central to who I am.