by The Bathtub Project
How often do you bathe or shower?
Ummmm, every day or every other day. Honestly, it depends on how early I have to get up. Getting my ass up and out of bed is a serious challenge—no matter what the time of day. I typically shower and hardly ever take a bath, although I have taken to them recently as I’ve been moving toward more intentional self-care. Giving it more of my energy.
What does your self-care look like?
Mmm. Getting my nails done. Getting my hair done. Tanning! For sure! When I talk about going to the tanning bed, I call it the beach because it makes me feel so warm and happy. Taking my medicine. Routine. Making the little decisions that I know are best for me even when I don’t feel like it. Anything I can to make myself look and feel better—because I deserve it. If I can show myself some love and appreciation through self-care, I feel better. Then I can feel like my best self for other people. Showing up for other people is a form of self-care for me too. If I can’t show up for other people, it means I’m not showing up for myself.
If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?
A fucking shark! Cuz they’re on top of the food chain, dammit! I saw this meme that said, “Do sharks complain about Monday morning? No. They’re up early- biting shit, chasing shit, and generally being scary because they’re a fucking shark.” You just got to get after it, that’s shark mentality. Be the best, be the biggest. But also stay humble.
What are you passionate about?
Being a good human. Inspiring others to be good humans. Changing the ways our culture thinks about that. I think we have a very clear ideal of what being a good person looks like, but it can be very unrealistic for a lot of people. Expectations are way too high. So, modeling the small, simple acts of kindness that can build on each other versus having this cut dry ideal to live up to. Making it yours, the little things that you’re good at and that you excel at– using those skills and traits to be kinder to humanity. At the end of the day, we’re all we’ve got. I don’t know about you- but everybody deserves happiness, and I want to be a part of making that possible. Building a little bit of a better world. Since I’ve gotten sober, I’ve realized that the biggest thing I can do to be a good human is simply to be kinder to myself. Then trying to be gentle with people and meet them where they’re at without judgement. Trying to be the reason why someone has being a part of the little thing that sets them off and into a negative spiral. If you make someone’s day a little better, it can change how they move forward with their day. It can change all of the little things they can do for the better—their interactions with others, their sense of inner peace, the choices they decide to make for themselves. All because you smiled at them or gave them that ballin’ parking spot in the front row. Just, setting other people up for success.
What is something you feel accomplished with?
I think I would have to go with, beating alcoholism. It’s a really broad thing but it breaks down into so many different areas of my life. It’s an umbrella thing that enhances everything. I can be my best authentic self fearlessly. I produce better work. I’m able to show up for other people when they need support. Not being bound to drinking every day is something that has allowed me to win more in everyday life.
What is something you still struggle with?
Practicing what I preach ::laughs:: And not trying to fit into a mold. Being gentle and making small waves. It’s really easy to be enticed into making this big wave with killer impact. The thing is those are few and far between. It’s the small ones that add up and create larger ripples. The smaller waves reach farther.
What are your thoughts on relationships? Platonic, sexual and otherwise.
They are either positive ones or they are negative ones and there isn’t a lot of space in between them. Relationships are fucking hard because I have to deal with other people. Helping others process and problem solve their shit that they’re going through when I’m already stuck in my own head, is really difficult. That said, I’m a Libra, so I’m naturally drawn to relationships. I like the “you and me” thing, versus the “I have to do it myself”. I do tend to gravitate towards being in romantic relationships, as well as keeping strong bonds with my family when they’re healthy and not toxic to my health. I think the nature of my relationships have changed since I’ve gotten sober. The authenticity and vulnerability that come along with choosing to be in relationships with people who match my vibe. There were a lot of negative relationships going on while I was battling my traumas and the ways it manifested. At the time, I didn’t realize the profound impact they were having on my choices. I now know I need to be more intentional about who I invest my energy in. It’s easy to hang out with someone I’ve known for 15 years. It’s not as easy to walk up to someone new and say “hey, let’s get a coffee and talk about life”. I think we need to better about fostering our relationships and focus less on ourselves. I want to see what happens when our culture shifts from “how can I be happy in this moment” to “what can I do to contribute to the greatest good or happiness for myself and everyone around me?” Personally, I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.