THEBATHTUBPROJECT

exploring vulnerability and transparency one bath at a time

Tag: Fear

May Pierce

May Pierce

 

Date of Interview: October 7, 2016

Name: May Pierce

Age: 26

Pronouns: She/Her

Location: Toledo, OH

 

How often do you bathe or shower?

Every day. Bathing is not a thing though, usually. I don’t know why.

If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?

A slermaid! A sloth-mermaid, of course. Because I love sloths, and I’m a mermaid. I was born to be a mermaid. So it’s a slermaid, there you go. Are you jealous? :laughter:: You might be, I can tell. Were you born near a body of water? Yes, I was born near a body of water. I was born in Israel, I used to walk by the beach all the time. And I used to sneak out of school to go to the beach. Which is a no no, children don’t do that. I guess I should be parental. Uhh, yeah. I like the beach. It’s relaxing, it’s cool, there’s a bunch of sea creatures. Once I lost my sunglasses when I was in South Carolina, and I still believe that an octopus is wearing them. So there’s that. I like octopus, octopi- octopi? Octopi. Octopusses. Meeses, mooses, ::laughter:: who know, the English language is weird.

How many languages do you know?

Two, just Hebrew and English. And then I know how to count to five in Arabic, no big deal.

Do you think thoughts in one language?

Both. Think in both, dream in both. But it’s funny because, when I dream in Hebrew and it’s somebody that would speak English, that’s when I know it’s a dream. So, I figured that one out.

Do you have certain memories or ties to the extent that when you think in one language you feel a certain emotion?

No. No, I was very bummed though when I was hanging out with NSync in a dream and they were speaking in Hebrew. So that my recent emotion. Still a dream to me NSync, no big deal. Just a normal dream every little girl has.

What are you passionate about?

Baking! And cooking healthy food, which is is kind of funny, because they’re not really the same thing. I don’t eat processed sugar, so essentially I’m like a drug dealer. Sugar is a drug. I sell it, and I don’t eat my profits. So there’s that. Some people call me a drug dealer when I give them samples, because it’s addicting. I’m sure kids know that sugars very addicting. So yeah, my names May and I’m a drug dealer of sugar. No big deal, totally normal.

When did you find you passion for cooking and baking?

When I was vegan. So when I was like 20… 20, 19? So I was vegan, and Toledo is pretty sucky when it comes to vegan stuff, so I had to start learning how to cook things that my mom would make, but without dairy or meat or eggs. And then I fell in love with it, I don’t know, it was fun. And I still think it’s fun, and then I went to school for it And working in way too may restaurants to count, and then decided that I want to bake for the rest of my life. Because, people don’t bake well. People will just do cupcakes and cakes, and things that people are familiar with, which is unfortunate. And I understand why, but there is so much more than just cupcakes and cakes in the world. And unless you live in Europe or the Middle East, it seems that people are afraid of it. So I’m here to, you know, not be spooky and you know, shove French macrons in your mouth. ::laughter:: but, not in a sexual way, that would be really weird, I’m just a drug dealer. I will never force you to eat something… maybe. We’ll see. Unless like I make like, mock-liver and you’re like, “I hate mushrooms.” And I’m like, “No you don’t, you just never had mock-liver. And now I can prove you wrong, so” It tastes like chicken, like chicken pate, but it’s just mushrooms, walnuts, honey or you can use agave if you’re against honey, and salt and pepper, and caramelized onions, and it’s amazing. It’s my favorite dip. I just kind of eat it with a spoon, but whatever, we can call it a dip. But yeah, it’s very Jew-y. It’s true, Jews eat a lot of liver. It’s a thing, I don’t know.

What do you think of religion?

I don’t do it. I’m not going to heaven, I’m going straight to hell. So sorry, sorry mom. Uhh, I don’t know. When I was in the 2nd grade, because I lived in Israel, we had to take bible classes, or Torah classes I should call them. Annndd, I sat in my room, I was like 8 years old. I sat in my room and was like, “Is God real?” and was like this is giving me a headache I never want to think if this again, and so that was it. It’s been… it’s been real. ::laughter:: it’s been real for the last 20 years, so that’s my opinion of it. I’m totally fine with other people practicing. You do whatever makes you happy, but it doesn’t make me happy. Do you think heaven and hell exist? Meh… I don’t know. I don’t think about it, I think about today and that’s it. But if I was going somewhere, it definitely wouldn’t be the good place. Whoopsies! I mean whatever, unless like, making yourself happy is not a sin, so then I would be going to the good place. Because I try to make myself happy. So, depends on how you look at it. What makes you happy? Uhh… being successful. Doing what I like to do, selling it to people, and getting compliments about it. But like legitimate compliments, not like, “OH I’m just writing this because I feel bad.” That’s what makes me happy. And making the people around me happy. Not just with sugar, but you know with other things that are not sugar. I don’t know, that’s what makes me happy. Having a clean house makes me happy. Having a good meal makes me happy. Uhh, yeah, food makes me happy. Ok? That’s really the bottom line, food make me happy. My dog makes me happy. She’s cool, she’s not food, ‘cause you know, she’s a dog. My dog should never be food, maybe she’ll be a statue after she dies, at my house, that would be cool. But yeah, I can only hope. Only hope I’ll have the money ::whispers:: she’ll be beautiful. Oh that’d be glorious.

What do you think of relationships? Platonic, sexual, or otherwise.

I’m in a relationship, I’ve been in one for two years. Umm, they’re hard. They’re time-consuming, they’re emotional, kind of weird about feelings a lot. Uhh, they’re there. I mean people want to be happy with a partner, so that’s cool, that’s why we do it. But they’re hard, it’s another job. So there’s that, when you work 90 hours it’s even harder. And when both you and your partner works 90 hours, it gets even harder. So it’s a job, it’s a hard job. But you know, it’s rewarding, in the end. Build a home, have dogs, put up a fence, with your friend who’s helping you for free. But yeah, that’s what I feel about it. Family is the most important thing, as long as you like your family. If you don’t like your family, then your friends become your family and THEY’RE the most important thing. So family is always the most important thing, even if it’s not blood. That’s what I think about it. They complete you when you’re sad, they’re there when you’re happy. They’re there when you just want someone to hang out with you while you’re baking by yourself in a dark sub shop. Umm, they’re there when they’re sweating and they ask you to get face towels so they can stop sweating. But yeah, that’s what friends are. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t see them for 20 years, they’re still friends.

What are you afraid of for yourself?

Uhh… failure. But I don’t know what failure is. I mean, I’ve failed at many things, but then they taught me, or I realized that what I thought that I wanted is not what I wanted. So I don’t know what failure is, but whatever it is is what scares me. Losing all my money, because I’ve lived with and without money, so I… I’m not saying money is the most important things, but… I don’t know, I’m more realistic about it. And that freaks me out, to think about running out of everything, everything I’ve saved up. So that’s my fear I suppose. Is working hard for something and then losing it. Whatever that it, whether it’s money, or ideas, or ::sigh:: I don’t know.

What is something that you feel you’ve accomplished?

Ooh! One of my moments of realizing that I’ve done something good in this community. Unless you think that sugar is bad. Is going to places, and introducing myself as May, and then people immediately saying, “The baker?” Or me being at weddings where I bake, and people are stuffing their faces with sweets and then people telling me, “Oh I usually get these at the sub shop!” That’s always fun. So yeah, I like that. That’s when I feel accomplished. And yelling at students that cut their fingers. I’m the teacher that yells, “Bearclaw!” all the time. I mean it’s their fingers! I’m just helping the next generation to not cut themselves.

Angela Lester

Angela Lester

 

Date of Interview: October 5, 2016

Name: Angela Lester

Age: 25

Pronouns: She/Her

Location: Columbus, Oh

 

If you were an underwater creature which one would you be?

Oh man… I really love a lot of underwater sea creatures so that’s kind of hard. I’m gonna say dolphins because they’re very community oriented and they’re very smart and they don’t have a lot of natural predators. So I wouldn’t have to deal with being attacked or eaten which would be good ::laughs::.

Do you enjoy being in bodies of water?

Yes. Yes, actually when I was really young I remember my mom taking me to the pool or the beach and when it would be time for me to come in she would call for me and I would duck underwater to pretend that I didn’t hear her so I could stay in longer. When I’m in water I have this overall feeling of like, safety. It’s a nice, cool or warm blanket that makes me feel good and happy and I’m weightless. There’s not a lot of… I don’t know… There’s just this sense of serenity.

What are you passionate about?

Ooooo, lots of things. Umm, I guess I really love food. My long term goal in life is to be a pastry chef and have my own patisserie. So like cooking for people and making things for my friends or coworkers is a thing I really like doing. I’m also very passionate about people being treated fairly and properly so I try to be as active in the community as possible. Just kind of like, human rights and people’s rights. I think there are a lot of things that have been going on for years, especially with race and police violence and I think it’s very important to be active in that and getting together as a community and doing what we can to fight that or else nothing is going to change.

What are you most afraid of for the world?

That… well just… oh man. That Donald Trump will be president ::laughs:: and that people won’t put aside their differences and come together and I’m just afraid that something similar to WWII will happen and that we’ll use up all of our resources and society will collapse on itself. Which I know we’re already at a point where it’s almost irreversible… The future seems pretty bleak to me ::laughs:: nothing matters. Going to have an existential crisis in the bathtub ::laughs::.

What are you most afraid of for yourself?

I’m… honestly not afraid of many things other than being attacked by a person at night. Which is something that I feel like most female bodied people or actually all female bodied people are worried about whenever they go walking by themselves at any time of day. Umm, that and also, this is so irrational and dumb but falling off of a roller coaster. I’m really afraid of heights so those are my two things.

What do you think of relationships? Platonic, sexual and otherwise.

As far as romantic relationships go, I have always been a hopeless romantic. I love falling in love. And I love getting to know people on a romantic level. But it’s also kind of difficult for me because I am a demisexual person, so that has had a lot of people turn themselves away from me because sex isn’t a priority to me unless I have a very strong emotional or intellectual connection to them. Which I guess is good in the long run because it turns away those people who aren’t right for me. I am currently in the best relationship I’ve ever been in ::laughs:: and my partner is really wonderful and we have great communication which I think is the most important, be it a romantic or platonic relationship; you have to talk about things with your partner or friend as soon as you can. If you let something go on and fester, it can become this weird passive aggressive thing and neither of you can grow and develop from that.

What is your biggest accomplishment?

Oh man. I recently got published in Vogue International and that was a big step for professionally modeling. Also, I have now been to every state except for Hawaii through modeling and also a recent trip out west. I never thought I could travel for a month at a time due to finances but I was able to do that and spend time in a lot of states that I would have never visited and meet cool people so yeah.

Kalani Naihe

Kalani Naihe

 

Date of Interview: October 3, 2016

Name: Kalani Naihe

Age: 23

Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them

Location: Philadelphia, PA

 

If you were an underwater creature which one would you be?

Ohhhhh good question. I would probably be an orca. I really like whales, I think they’re really cool and interesting creatures and like, they just swim around and shit, it’s pretty cool.

What are you passionate about?

Very passionate about the DIY music scene, booking shows, being vegan and embracing my queerness. That’s something that is very new and very fun to become more passionate about. I never… I mean, it’s strange to me to talk about because I’m really new to this whole embracing my queerness thing. I’ve always been like, I’m definitely pansexual and I’ve always thought that my whole life. I’ve been very into loving people for who they are but recently come out to those that are close to me as non-binary when it comes to my gender so I started using they/them pronouns and I think that just making sure that my queerness doesn’t doesn’t get lost in relationships with those who are not. And I think that’s very important. In the past I’ve let people over step boundaries with that for me, like they kind of dictate my level of queerness especially if I’m dating a cis, straight male. So I’ve recently became very passionate about learning and accepting who I am instead of just letting someone else, just because they’re around a lot, dictate that I am this person that I know I am.

Do you feel like you have to carve out spaces that you exist in?

Always. Absolutely, especially because I book shows and being a queer promoter and trying so hard to be inclusive of everybody. It’s like having a third job a lot of the time. A lot of the time I feel overwhelmed by trying to make sure that my space in which I’m occupying is safe for those around me and for those who are also attending. It’s everything from entering into my home, to going to a show, it’s so important to be aware of. Lately I’ve been going through a lot, I moved back into this house after a year after some bad things happened and everyone just took me back in, but I feel better being around other people who are queer. They just sort of encompass my life. Having my friends, even having people in my life who aren’t queer, just making sure those people in my life are also accepting of who I am… All of my friends are and I feel so good and confident about it. But it’s important for me to dictate what is safe for me and those around me. Cuz people do look up to me when it comes to all of that stuff because of how loud I am and how I’m in charge of the spaces that people are in, especially for shows and stuff.

What do you think of relationships? Platonic, sexual or otherwise?

My platonic relationships are soooooooo important to me. I love all of my friends with my whole heart, and I always have, that’s just the way I’ve been my whole life. My platonic relationships, because they’ve always gone better than my romantic ones, have always meant more to me. That’s definitely one of the reasons why my romantic relationships have failed, because I have tried so hard to make sure that if I’m in a romantic relationship, my platonic ones will not be overlooked at all. They’re so important. I don’t know where I would be today if I hadn’t met my best friend five years ago. And if I have ever treated them terribly or completely disappeared on them or whatever because of getting into a relationship they wouldn’t be here today. So it’s definitely paid off, caring so much about platonic relationships. The people I surround myself with are like family to me because my family is over 500 miles away. I think it’s important for everyone to think of their friends like that. You get to choose them so you should put as much effort into them as anything else, they’re important.

What is something you’re afraid of for yourself?

The future. It’s very scary and uncertain. I think about it all the time and it terrifies me. I’m soooooo scared of it because every aspect of it is scary. Things that are going on politically are scary, it’s sooooo fucking terrifying and then jsut my everyday life, like what am I going to do in two years!? What am I gonna do in two months? Because everything has been so uncertain for me lately and I’ve been kind of just going with the flow, doing whatever. I don’t know. The future. The future is very scary and I’m terrified of it.

What do you wish you had known when you were 15?

I wish 15 year old me, I’m going to go into this crazy vegan thing because that’s who I am, I wish 15 year old vegetarian me, fence walking peanut butter eating piece of shit who REALLY didn’t do ANYTHING, it’s cool, like I was vegetarian so young and it took me so long to vegan. I wish someone would have told me “there’s something called vegan-ism, this is what you want to do” because my mindset was “I want to help animals BUT I’m still gonna eat dairy” ::laughs::. So I wish 15 year old me would have known what being vegan meant.

 

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