exploring vulnerability and transparency one bath at a time

Tag: Washington DC




Date of Interview: January 26, 2017

Name: Court

Age: 24

Pronouns: Court

Location: Washington, DC


If you were an underwater creature which one would you be?

This is a tricky one. Because I very strongly identify with rodents and I’m also terrified of the sea. It’s one of my biggest.. well I respect it, but I’m just so scared of it that I don’t think I can be involved with the sea in any way. So I’m just a rodent. Rodent, you know.

How do you describe yourself?

OH boy, okay. Court. Number one, just Court. I am Court, I go through so many phases of thinking and existing and wanting to exist and dressing because gender… ::laughs::. Gender is a lot. It’s fun and exciting. I think of myself very strongly as kind and anxious and a Libra. I can’t go a day without talking and thinking about how being a Libra affects so much of my life. With striving for balance between wanting justice and harmony all the time… I can’t be in any situation, including being by myself without always trying to achieve a harmony. And you can’t achieve harmony between all things all at once, you can’t even do it for 20 things all at once so I’m very dreamy and distractible and optimistic despite how I feel sometimes. And also, just… I’m very proud of myself. That’s been something I’ve been feeling lately so my words to describe myself have become more plentiful as well as more confident.

What are you proud of?

I have Lyme disease and a lot of other health problems, including concussions. A lot of them. And I have been through so much and I have done so much to keep myself going. I have taken care of myself SO well. I have fought a fucking battle within my body, so many battles because once again, gender. It’s always there. And I am getting better! I have had three doctors in the past day, all tell me that I am on the mend, that they can feel my spirit inside of me again, well not that, that just came out of my mouth ::laughs::. Um, I’m getting better and I fucking did it.

What are you passionate about?

This is also something I think about all the time. I’m passionate about animals. Forever and always, that is the most solid part of me, at the core of who I am. But real quick, I must mention that I’m passionate about people too. It’s something I’ve been realizing lately and I’ve become more compassionate about other people’s passions. That is, a lot of times, something I do already love- what other people love, who I am close to. But my own passions involve animals and building and creating communities and connections. And fucking with gender. Yeah.

What is something you struggle with?

Surviving and helping other people survive patriarchy and capitalism and white supremacy. That’s become the core, well, it’s always been at the core of my struggles and everybody’s struggles. But that one right now in particular is eclipsing my ability to look at personal struggles. Including staying in touch with myself, maintaining connections to my past selves and building the ones with my future selves. So yeah, balancing the horrors of capitalism. And also my own uhh… the self-growth that I want in a world that isn’t within capitalism.

What are your thoughts on relationships? Platonic, sexual and otherwise.

I mean my thoughts are basically in line with the hope for the community I want. I really try to break down hierarchies in relationships and also in that, embracing fluidity in romance, platonic relationships and sexual ones and just… I mean, physical and non-sexual and romantic as a friend! You can experience relationships in so many different ways and in individual ways. Every person I meet, I am excited to embark upon discovering a relationship with them. They’re all different for me and I think so much that we have to recognize is that each relationship should be healing. That’s what I want out of a relationship.

What is something you’re hopeful for?

Okay, I’m going to take a break from talking about capitalism and gender because we can have entire lives that have nothing to do with that. Roll my eyes at myself… Um. What am I hopeful for… I am hopeful for the community that I really want to build, specifically in D.C. I just want to be a part of people recognizing what they need, and have others recognize what they need and being able to help one another reach those needs. Giving people attention and love and space to dump what they need to, talk about what they need to. I am hopeful for the chance to be a part of a community that values practices of intentionality and communication and care.


Megan Larson

Date of Interview: January 7, 2017

Name: Megan

Age: 28

Pronouns: She/Her

Location: Washington, DC

If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?

So, I actually don’t love the ocean, but I did some research on this question.  I looked up creatures that are solitary in nature, and the first thing to come up was an octopus. Yeah, I guess I would be an octopus. They’re considered one of the most intelligent and behaviorally diverse creatures in the ocean, which I thought was really cool.

What are you passionate about?

The word passionate is kind of tricky to me, because I feel like there has to be a monumental action that follows it. So if I say “I’m passionate about music”, I should be making it. If I say “I’m passionate about literature”, I should be writing it.  If I say “I’m passionate about equality or human rights”, I should be marching for it. But I don’t… and that doesn’t mean I’m not passionate about those things, because I am – my actions are just not as monumental. I’m passionate about music, so I listen to it. I’m passionate about literature, so I read it. I’m passionate about equality and human rights, so I believe in it and I stand with my friends in support. I will say something that has become more important to me that I’ve become passionate about is  self awareness and… I feel like I’ve always been self aware of things that I want out of this life, but I don’t think, until very recently, I’ve been aware about my worth. I’m a catch. I hate saying that because it sounds like such a conceited thing to say, but I really don’t think it is. Recently I’ve been like fuck yeah, I’m a catch and I’m a queen and you’re a queen and we should be going after relationships that back that up. That’s something that I’ve become extremely passionate about, is this self awareness discovery. I feel like I’ve been on it for awhile now I guess.

What was the catalyst for that discovery?

So I’ve been single for a year and a half and before my previous relationship I was single for three years. I’ve spent a lot of my 20’s being single and number one; I think that’s fantastic. But I’m just like every other person, I want to be able to find whomever my person is and live whatever life we’re destined to live. In the summer I met this guy and we had this amazing connection and this chemistry was undeniable. I immediately realized that… this could be it. I thought that relatively soon. It ended up that I was wrong, of course. He would disappear, and then kept coming back, saying things that made it seem like he wanted all of these things with me. And we kept doing this cycle. This last time he disappeared again, which was not too long ago, I realized I felt really good. Like so good about this. Because I’ve given it three chances and it’s obviously not gonna work out. Immediately I was like, “what the fuck am I doing?” I realized that I deserve so much better than this. I deserve someone who actually wants to be with me, and that his actions match his words. So, it’s been pretty recent that I’ve had this total epiphany, but I think it’s been something I’ve been working towards the past few years.

What do you think of platonic relationships?

I think platonic relationships are so important. I’m not going to say I’m “blessed” because I don’t like saying that word in general. But I do feel like I’m so extremely lucky, and I don’t know what I did right in my life to deserve the people that I have in it. One of my closest friends, she also lives here and we went to high school together. We weren’t close in high school, but now we are and… she’s one of the best people that I know! I don’t think I would be able to enjoy my time as much if she wasn’t here. There’s a handful of people in my life that I’m so lucky to have. Those relationships are super important, when you’re single and even when you’re with someone in a romantic way.

Sarah AKA Sur-ruh

Sarah AKA Sur-Ruh


Date of Interview: December 12, 2016

Name: Sarah AKA Sur-ruh

Age: 25

Pronouns: She/Her

Location: Washington, DC


How often do you bathe or shower?

I am not super good about that… it’s only for the purposes of getting scalp clean. I know my body is getting kinda sweaty but it’s the wintertime so I can cover it up pretty well ::laughs::.

If you were an underwater creature, which one would you be?

I’ve considered this extensively! I didn’t show you my mermaid tail blanket, the hottest thing on earth right now but yeah, I would be a mermaid. I’m a swimmer, like, even though I’ve swum competitively I’m not great at the butterfly but doing the dolphin tail kick is fulfilling my dreams of having an adventure under the water and my imagination as a kid… I really spent a lot of time in the water. I started swimming competitively when I was around 8 or so. So it was a summer team and I didn’t really want to start doing it in the winter until high school so it was a little bit harder. Highly mediocre. I just find it natural to be in the water.

What are you passionate about?

I think something I’ve been trying to do a lot is seek out art and try to learn about and pick something or a couple things I think I can express the kind of art that I think really feels me. I’ve been bouncing around a lot. I started in photography and it’s still something that’s really important to me but when I was able to start messing around with different materials and rocks and collage I felt like there was something there and I had to keep going with that. Talking to you, I’ve talked to other artists on Instagram and I’m just trying to figure out how you guys do it and I want to adopt your policies or whatever ::laughs::. You clearly have drive and I would like to find that kind of drive. With photography, my attention is still there because I felt like I was so poor at it when I started, I wasn’t super critical of myself at the time, but I look back and think oh. You weren’t really making it. But at the time I had this feeling, I know I’m missing the point here. So I thought I had to get practice and practice is a real important thing. I also thought travel was more important, like, there’s nothing here. I realized it’s not about traveling! ::Laughs:: sure, you can travel and make beautiful photography doing that but I felt like I wasn’t giving enough of a chance to the area I was living in. At that time I was moving to college part to go to school and I just fell in love with alleyways. My boyfriend always laughs at me cuz I’m all “Wow! Look at that alley!”. Alley’s just get the coolest light. And they’re always so dirty. It’s great texture. So now I’m just looking for the right thing to make something different. I always want to make something different.

What are your thoughts on relationships? Platonic, sexual or otherwise.

That’s really interesting for me to talk about. Because I think about not only my romantic relationship, that… That’s always been a big part of my life, I’ve always been sort of dating somebody and I thought that was to keep me occupied a lot of the time. I felt like there wasn’t a lot going on. But I realized a little bit later that I can entertain myself. I can figure out what I think is worthwhile to pursue and I don’t have to follow around this person, saying “I like what you like too”. That’s just sort of about boyfriend things but I don’t have a lot of super close friends, I have maybe 5 or 6 who are ride or die ::laughs::. But they don’t live that close so I think I felt so spoiled in college and I didn’t realize it until now, that being able to see all of your best friends and your second best friends all in one night; that’s an amazing experience. So now I really really value.any time I have someone come over.

What is something you struggle with?

I feel like I’m struggling with a good number of things right now, but I am picking out a therapist person. I got a lot of pages of doctors I have to call and stuff because I don’t know which one I need. I don’t even know if they’re accepting people so it’s really daunting because there are so many names. But I’m really driven to do this ’cause I get sort of obsessive and I’ve never been diagnosed and I have no diagnosed issues and I do not intend to seek a diagnosis. I just want to seek treatment. I don’t really know what the true issue is but I just get obsessive. I need to work on it because it’s impacting my health and the health of people around me. It’s hard because it’s not a lot of physical manifestations of compulsion except that if I get fixated on a mistake I made at work or something; I’ll be unable to eat for that day. And then when that becomes more of a pattern, you know, in extraordinary circumstance, that makes me feel horrible. I feel kind of fortunate because I can deal with this one thing but awhile back I had a lot more trouble sleeping so I felt like a zombie all the time. That was a real feeling that I knew I was having, so now I feel blessed that I don’t feel like that but yeah, I have to focus on trying to get better.

What’s something you feel accomplished with?

I guess, it’s coming up with the new year in January, January was when I got my first full time job, the job I just referenced ::laughs::. I am so very thankful even though it can bring pain because I’m one of those people who wasn’t very good at applying for jobs and definitely wasn’t very good at getting them but I just dreamt and wished for that. I’ve been trying to remind myself that anytime I feel that it’s difficult or that I can’t deal with it, that I’ve had a successful, as in I haven’t gotten fired ::laughs::, 11 and a half months and I’ve learned a lot. I’m the type of person where if you put something on my plate to learn my response won’t be “no, I don’t want to learn that” but it will be “well, I guess this is what I’m doing now” ::laughs::. I guess it’s good to be surprised by that

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